sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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