Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
