just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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