best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
