Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
