Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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