Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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