you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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