its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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