I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
