I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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