Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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