just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
