My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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