Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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