David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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