I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize