i think my mom watched the whole time
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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