I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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