I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
