Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
