I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
