what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"