worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dating After Heartbreak
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad