her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!