i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....