Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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