She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
