hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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