I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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