i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
