i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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