You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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