One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i came on her dog
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
