Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
