I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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