my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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