i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
