U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
