Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
True strength comes from lack of pants
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
