Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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