Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
