I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
