I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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