People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just pee around me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
