Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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