Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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