So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
