Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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