She said her name was "party"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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