I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
