if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
