So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
