no. you can't hotbox the world.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
