dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this just has baby written all over it
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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