At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
