I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
