I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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