i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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