At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
