you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
