we're blogging at a bar
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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